Shantell here…
So the blog has been silent for a few months. But, rest assured experiences in dating and such are still being had by those of us who are ‘out there.’
If you’re single and looking to make connections, you probably have or will try ‘online dating’ at some point. Emphasis added because it’s really not like dating at all. It’s more like the digital wild west, often with less compassion than you’ll find in a cattle chute. To help you navigate, here’s a quick summary of the 5 Guys You Meet Online…
1. Selfie Guy
Observations: This guy only has photos of himself in his profile—in the car, in front of the mirror, etc. and there is a very high likelihood that one of them will be shirtless. This is also the same guy that will very early on start demanding ‘pics.’ In a recent chat with one of these type of guys he demanded ‘all sorts of pics’ and then said frankly "Appeal to my senses and needs...If that works then you might get a call.” That is a direct quote.
Now, we’ve agreed not to swear on this blog, so I’ll keep what I really think about that comment to myself. You can call me if you’d like to hear my response, uh, unfiltered.
2. The Way Older Guy
Observations: He’s in his 50’s or 60’s and still emailing 30-something women to find the ‘love of his life.’ Sometimes they live out of the country, and oftentimes they tell you how beautiful you are, how they would like to take care of you and have children with you. These are the guys that are simply out of touch with their own stage of life. It’s really sort of sad, and at the same time creepy because they are the same age as your parents.
This is an actual email (no edits):
"I hope its going great. I was just outside working and a thought of you crossed my mind. I was thinking that if you were here we could be going out to a nice dinner and maybe catch a movie. And then afterwards we could talk about our future.
I know your going to think im crazy. . Your so beautiful I decided to tell my story ,I hope you will forgive our age diff, I have worked 2 jobs all my life,7 days a week, since HS, to pay for ranch, cattle , equip, etc. I would give it all to you for a LIFETIME MATE. I'm terrified of divorce. Lots of reasons. See my profile , yes i want to have a child,.I will prove to you I'm not to old. Please get to know me. If i already emailed you, BLOCK ME , High morale's, Never married no Kids 62yrs, 150lbs 5ft 4inches I saved a Fortune for my marriage , for my soul mate. I look and act 40, I sing like Elvis
Ps.... I dont want a pen pal I would rather Talk on the phone and date, .Bad Typist, I am not trying to get you to like me for my money, like me for what I did for our marriage to succeed, Please Date Me ! Looking for the love of my Life, My Email is XXXXXX , I dont text , Thank's"
3. The Ghoster
Observations: You’ve connected and started up a nice chat. You go back and forth and the conversation seems interesting. Maybe you even move off the dating site to texting. There might even be a call in there somewhere. It’s looking promising….but then…..BAM! He leaves the conversation mid-sentence without explanation and you just never hear from him again. You wonder if he found someone more attractive, simply got bored, was abducted by aliens or hit by a bus. There is an actual term for this…it’s called “Ghosting” and its one of the biggest epidemics of online dating. Just ask Chantel. She knows about epidemics and she could make us a graph.
4. TMI Guy
Observations: Like trying to drink from a firehose, the names says it all—from the first email this guy starts sharing WAY too much information. This could be a long explainination for a short question (what kind of pizza do you like?) or too many personal details that immediately make you uncomfortable. I’m not sure if it’s nerves or just excitement. Either way, the paragraphs of information are somewhat daunting when you’re first meeting someone online.
5. The Cubic Zirconia
Observations: He seems to sparkle and shine like a diamond, but wait---look a little closer because this is the guy with a fake profile. The way you detect this person is that they usually only have one photo of themselves and/or a ‘too good to be true’ profile greeting. Trust your instincts and use a reverse google image look-up to find out if the photo (and therefore profile) is real. There are more of these then you’d ever imagine, even on Christian-based dating sites.
Finally, to offer balanced coverage, online dating can be great and lead to real in-person relationships and even marriages I’ve heard. But, even if you do find the one, expect to run into at least one of the five guys above in the process. Cause believe me, they are out there. :)